It’s getting even better

It’s already March 2018.

I feel like I’ve taken a huge leap in my life on a very short period of time. I still have insecurities and all that is grey and even black within my life. But I’m feeling lighter. I have clearer vision on a few years ahead of me and I’m paving my way to get into achieving my goals.

I see my qualities and decide to strengthen them. I dare to say no to things I find no meanings to my well being. I still have no clue about love though, considering there is a good guy who genuinely loves me yet I blatantly refuse any further relationship with him cause the feelings weren’t mutual.

I read books, a lot. I get way more curious about the situation in this country and latest news around the world. I’m in urge on finding a community I can practice a good hobby with, while I can openly share and discuss all the stuff that keep running inside my head. I’ll eventually find one, just a matter of time.

Upon my decision on taking my hijab off after consistently wearing it for 12 years, people asked me different questions. And the storm of their questioning had calmed down as expected. There are 2 questions that strongly stayed on my mind and I wouldn’t mind to share them here.

Many asked if I converted, or questions such as, “Are you still a Moslem?” And I find that question kinda silly, also don’t feel like answering. I’m not even sorry.

Another one came from a really good friend of mine, I met her for the first time when I was in queue during the time I proposed for a passport. I don’t have many friends but I kept making strong connection with people that are completely unrelated to my circles, isn’t that weird? Long story short, this friend asked calmly if I have some kind of disappointment towards our Lord. This is the nicest question I got to which I replied with a simple no. And she smiled, told me things are gonna be just fine.

I like my job, it honestly has been a secret dream job to me which I kept on denying because I’ve spent many years of my life learning Science, not to mention decided to take on Material Science major. I did love doing research, experimenting in lab to develop new materials but I don’t mind either with this whole new banking stuff I threw myself into. I used to imagine working in finance related company with the kind of outfit I’m wearing daily right now.

And guess what, working in a bank turned my view about many things. And I’m glad with the given opportunity.

Cheers to the remaining months I still get in my 22.

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